Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Under lock and ego.


All along, it was a fever.
A cold sweat hot-headed believer.
I threw my hands in the air, said, "Show me something"
He said, "If you dare come a little closer"
- Stay, Rihanna ft Mikky Ekko


I think all along I've been believing that people have the intention of doing wrong by me. Maybe that's why I tend to go off the chart at the first hint of a slash. Truth is, unintentionally, we slash and grind at each other all the time. Words, or actions are like sandpaper to us. They grind a person down.

And when you grind and grind, you tend to hit the core - and my core is sensitive.

If I were to be honest - and push aside my ego and pride - I'd have to say that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to all the people who I've pushed away - believing that your intention was to hurt me.
I'm sorry to all the people who I've grinned down -my actions and words sometimes aren't filtered.
I'm really really sorry to those who tried to reach out only to feel me pull away. Sometimes my ego and hurt get the best of me.

Sometimes it's not them - it's you.

And maybe I've lost friends because of this. And maybe I tell them that I can't give a damn. And maybe I think about them ever so often. And maybe I have our pictures up on a board so I never lose sight of their smile and everything we've shared.

And maybe I miss them but then maybe it's too little to late.

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