All things normal, making sense have left my body.
I've come to realize something. That all this while, I've been thinking too much. Reading too much in everyones actions. Sometimes I even feel more like a spectator than a real life human, living my own life. Every action accounted for, every word written down and every thought taken into consideration. I cannot life like this. I know I cannot. But it's hard to take new steps, into misty places that have never been touched. Life is unpredictable. Death is certain and happiness, is not guaranteed.
I will be turing 20 in two days. and it's scary. It's like a big mothefucking red flashing siren saying "Responsibility starts today". I've made so many mistakes in my life that I dont know whether I am able to responsible. To answer for my actions. I mean, I think if I put my mind to it, it can. But what if I relapse? And become a nobody?
So many questions. So many different answers. So just say you wanna stay.
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