And I'm not the kind to take slaps to my face.

I always say forgive but don't forget but then I realize that you don't truly forgive a person until you forget what they've done. 

And that's the hardest part. 
I find myself dwelling on the mistakes that have been done to me and it constantly causes me to wonder what mistakes I've unknowingly made. I double back, I second-guess, I am ready to give up hope on ever finding a true rock-solid friendship. I know I'm no good at being a friend because people - people should not lean on me. I crumble like a biscuit at the first slight and I know I have issues and I know it's more than some people can take. 

I look back and realize that you've never respected me as a person. Maybe I was your friend but friendships can easily be broken. Respect is much harder to break.

I wish you had respected me enough to ask what was going on. I wish you had respected me enough to not say things like you've had enough. I wish you had respected me enough to see the effort I put in for you both. And I realize, that respect goes both ways but I am flawed and I cannot see past what you've done. How am I supposed to ask you to see past what I've done - even though I don't know what it is I've done.

I miss having someone to talk to, to laugh with, to be myself with but I don't miss you because what you've done feels like a slap in the face. And I'm not the kind to take slaps to my face.