Everyone I've ever loved has left me lonely

I'm trying to type this out but I have no idea how to say it. It's like big gulps of emotions in my throat and it won't let all the perfect words out. Every chapter of my life is different and every time I never wanna close the book on that chapter. But I do - because that's what you have to do. You have to move on and go forth and hope that all the other chapters that lay ahead are just as good as the ones you've left. But somehow, every time I close a chapter, I feel like I'm lugging within me ghost of chapters past. All loves that left me, it's like a shard of glass pierced through my skin. I don;t know how to numb myself so it's just stinging. My whole life is stinging right now. 

Everyone I've ever loved has left me lonely, 

Every time I let go, I'm high and dry 

Every time I think I'm one and only 

I find myself alone not knowing why 

All the mystery and the magic

You light up what once was tragic

And I know that I will miss you when you're gone. 

I don't think truer words have ever been spoken. 

xx