via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/YsNDbxnzQn/ So many moments in time you don't remember but look back when it's over. Photos remain, standing still in time; and you and I and him and she, forever locked in my mind.
Monday, April 29, 2013
April 29, 2013 at 09:41PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/YsNDbxnzQn/ So many moments in time you don't remember but look back when it's over. Photos remain, standing still in time; and you and I and him and she, forever locked in my mind.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
April 28, 2013 at 04:51PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/YpHEvDHzXa/ Ahh, look what my brother found!
Saturday, April 27, 2013
April 28, 2013 at 12:37AM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/YnXrGPHzas/ Sometimes old is gold, and forever loved. @rahmatkhairudin #ain & #syaza
April 27, 2013 at 04:12PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/Ymd2ZCHzWh/ Gonna see Iron man 3!! #FYEAH!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
If I should have a daughter, instead of "Mom," she's gonna call me "Point B," because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me.And I'm going to paint solar systems on the backs of her hands so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say, "Oh, I know that like the back of my hand." And she's going to learn that this life will hit you hard in the face, wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach. But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by Band-Aids or poetry. So the first time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn't coming, I'll make sure she knows she doesn't have to wear the cape all by herself because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I've tried. "And, baby," I'll tell her, don't keep your nose up in the air like that. I know that trick; I've done it a million times. You're just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house, so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place, to see if you can change him." But I know she will anyway, so instead I'll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots nearby, because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can't fix. Okay, there's a few heartbreaks that chocolate can't fix.But that's what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything, if you let it. I want her to look at the world through the underside of a glass-bottom boat, to look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a human mind, because that's the way my mom taught me. That there'll be days like this. ♫ There'll be days like this, my momma said. ♫ When you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises; when you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape; when your boots will fill with rain, and you'll be up to your knees in disappointment. And those are the very days you have all the more reason to say thank you. Because there's nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it's sent away. You will put the wind in winsome, lose some. You will put the star in starting over, and over. And no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute, be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life. And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting, I am pretty damn naive. But I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily, but don't be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it. "Baby," I'll tell her, "remember, your momma is a worrier, and your poppa is a warrior, and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more." Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things. And always apologize when you've done something wrong, but don't you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining. Your voice is small, but don't ever stop singing. And when they finally hand you heartache, when they slip war and hatred under your door and offer you handouts on street-corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
April 25, 2013 at 07:52AM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/YgbCy3HzeY/ Never gonna leave this bedddd
Sunday, April 21, 2013
“You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, the conversations you engage in. You are what you take from these. You are the sound of the ocean, the breath of fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner.I have no idea where this quote is from but I feel it in my bones that this is true.
You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. You are every single second of every single day."
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
April 18, 2013 at 07:33AM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/YOXQwVnzcm/ I'm going to try not to be so weird today.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
April 17, 2013 at 08:07AM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/YL2Yypnzdu/ I want to see the universe - not RP.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
midnight
I've always known that I cannot hold things too close or too dear, for all things fall apart and with them so does my heart. Friendships,items and stories. I think the worst of the lot are the stories. When they end and I have to leave that world, it brings me down just a little. You may say that the characters weren't real but they're real enough for me. All the love and sadness. The flow of power through every word; gone.
Where do I go from there? What do I do? I can't go back because in this world, only moving forward counts.I guess it's the same as everything else really, everything has a time limit.
A friend once told me that she felt her friendship (with another one) had a time limit. Looking back, I wish I could force myself to understand that in that one statement, there was something crucial that I needed to understand.
I needed to understand that everything has a time limit. Not certain friendships, no certain books, not even certain stories, but everything. All of it, time stamped. Maybe that's why I constantly feel that I'm running out of things to say - or dare I admit it - that I constantly feel like people are going away from me. Not permanently, just away.
Of all my friendships, I've never had anyone who told me I was good enough, or that I mattered, or that I did good. Maybe that's because I've never done good - or maybe because no one sees me - the real person here. I'm not laughing as much, not smiling as much, and definitely not hoping as much.
One day I hope I can see clearly. Without all these issues in my head banging out for a chance to show. I'll have to remind my brain that we're trying to kill the drama queen and not let her have her moment. But it seems she always wants out.
Sometimes she gets her way.
Where do I go from there? What do I do? I can't go back because in this world, only moving forward counts.I guess it's the same as everything else really, everything has a time limit.
A friend once told me that she felt her friendship (with another one) had a time limit. Looking back, I wish I could force myself to understand that in that one statement, there was something crucial that I needed to understand.
I needed to understand that everything has a time limit. Not certain friendships, no certain books, not even certain stories, but everything. All of it, time stamped. Maybe that's why I constantly feel that I'm running out of things to say - or dare I admit it - that I constantly feel like people are going away from me. Not permanently, just away.
Of all my friendships, I've never had anyone who told me I was good enough, or that I mattered, or that I did good. Maybe that's because I've never done good - or maybe because no one sees me - the real person here. I'm not laughing as much, not smiling as much, and definitely not hoping as much.
One day I hope I can see clearly. Without all these issues in my head banging out for a chance to show. I'll have to remind my brain that we're trying to kill the drama queen and not let her have her moment. But it seems she always wants out.
Sometimes she gets her way.
April 12, 2013 at 11:53PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/YAqoyyHzfF/ Vanilla latte for midnight window shopping!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
April 10, 2013 at 06:23PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/X67W6BnzW2/ Cannot believe how yummy I smell right now! Vanilla pear yummmm!
Saturday, April 6, 2013
April 06, 2013 at 04:49PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/XwdXJxHzQK/ Starting my Saturday with a little TP love! Coming for you girls! @effagates @ctizyani @naddy
Thursday, April 4, 2013
April 05, 2013 at 10:21AM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/XtMMgmnzU9/ Pagi-pagi makan bola. Makan bola pagi-pagi
midnight
Sometimes I feel like I'm a million and one different people stuffed into one earthbound body-like a little bit of everyone is in me. Every time I try to define myself, all the words flow, in all directions and they flow by so fast it's like I can't even catch one of them so - so in the end I am defined by nothing. I am the nothing and the nobody beside you, drifting from place to place - trying to find my anchors in life.
I ask myself so many question and so many times, I get no answers. It literally scares the hell out of me when I look at myself in the mirror and try to find the answers - because don't they say the answers are within us? I find no answers. I look deeper and sometimes all that I can see and the demons that have won. So many of them tearing under my skin, trying to get out. To sin again, and again and again- because it's so easy to sin.
So easy to give in and pretend that I had to other choice or that there will be chances in the future not to sin.The reality of me is that I say and do what I'd think you want me to say and do. Is it possible to mold yourself thin? To be so fake that it becomes who you are.
I ask myself so many question and so many times, I get no answers. It literally scares the hell out of me when I look at myself in the mirror and try to find the answers - because don't they say the answers are within us? I find no answers. I look deeper and sometimes all that I can see and the demons that have won. So many of them tearing under my skin, trying to get out. To sin again, and again and again- because it's so easy to sin.
So easy to give in and pretend that I had to other choice or that there will be chances in the future not to sin.The reality of me is that I say and do what I'd think you want me to say and do. Is it possible to mold yourself thin? To be so fake that it becomes who you are.
April 04, 2013 at 11:08PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/Xr_Ohhnzee/ "Instagram, instagram, instagram that shit!"
April 04, 2013 at 09:34PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/Xr0ZasHzUH/ Goodbye @filzzie28 ! Have a great vacay! I love you <3
April 04, 2013 at 09:17PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/XrydhxHzSJ/ My Thursday night with my personal paparazzi! @filzzie28
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Ball of nerves
Sitting here under dusk lights, wondering how things will turn out. Results are out today and I am just a ball of nerves.
But now I think, my eyes are heavy and my mind quite.
Goodmorning/Goodnight.
xx
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
April 03, 2013 at 12:32AM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/Xm_N_eHzRz/ Trying to clear this mess of a desk.
Dear Parents.
I'm so tired of ranting in my head.
You don't listen to me.
You don't respect me.
You don't see what I do for you.
On top of that, you're a hypocrite.
It's okay for him to spend his days doing nothing - not even lifting a finger to help around the house - but it's not okay for me.
It's okay for you leave things around after you cook, not even bothering to put the food away but it's not okay for me.
It's okay for you to buy a whole lot of things that we don't need but it's not okay for me to buy the things I need.
It's okay for you to leave things everywhere but not for me.
It's okay for me to wait MONTHS for the things I want but not ok for you.
It's okay for you to compare me with kids who's parents listen to them and give them respect but it's not okay for me to compare you with other parents.
Stop it.
Just stop it.
April 02, 2013 at 04:42PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/XmJaceHzXB/ Cartoons before my chores.
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