December 30, 2014 at 06:11PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/xOh6jzHzbD/ The nights you could cope, Your intentions were gold. But mountains will shake, I need to know I can still make Explosions. 🌋🌌

December 27, 2014 at 06:54PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/xG4hVOHzcY/ & I got that red lip classic thing that you like.

December 25, 2014 at 12:17PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1HEN1a3 Nothing a little chocolate fondue & mindless reality shows can't fix! 👩👧☕

December 25, 2014 at 12:16PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/16S6lWb Nothing a little chocolate fondue & mindless reality shows can't fix! 👩👧☕

December 20, 2014 at 12:26PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1v2WUY9 You've got that James Dean daydream look in your eyes.

And I think of you and miss you the most during the moments I know you're supposed to be here. I miss you so much Nicks.

But I can only imagine how your family is coping. You were so you, so Nicky 🐎,  so calm and accepting and so collected and so Nicky -ish...I cant even describe it. We were blessed with 33 years of you. Sometimes it's like a dream that you're no longer here with us. I wished I had said a proper goodbye. But I don't think that matters now. Im sure you know how loved you are.

December 14, 2014 at 08:30PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/16lwQD2 Congratulations @effagates!! Im so happy I was able to witness this new milestone in your life! Insha Allah, we'll witness more milestones together! I love and miss you girlss 😘😘😘😘 👩👧👩👧

December 09, 2014 at 01:54PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1zHMLnS via @jaggybomb

December 08, 2014 at 05:58PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/12DoxA7 Almost there. 38 days to the end 19, 380 minutes to the end 1, 162, 800 seconds to the end. We're almost there guys.

December 07, 2014 at 11:13AM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1wLYPqo Never not chasing the million things I want. // 🎧 Lorde

November 30, 2014 at 01:43PM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/wAzfvKnzRc/ Of Sunday mornings in bed and well spent Saturday nights. // Oh wont you come and rest your bones with me?

November 26, 2014 at 05:05PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1uFHCIe Another day, another fluff! 😍 #80daysofinternship #45daysleft #calizamirinternshipvolumetwo

November 25, 2014 at 11:32PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1uByvbx Before the night ends! 🎂

Sunday's reminder.

I would like to remind myself that even though it hurts right now, it will pass. You will find yourself. You will be okay.

You will be okay.
This too, shall pass

November 20, 2014 at 07:46PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1AmB35I #80daysofinternship #49daysleft

November 16, 2014 at 05:13PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1xE2WSY My life consists of taking selfies and having people ignore my requests to take selfies with me. 👏👏👏

November 12, 2014 at 06:11PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/10UWzyT C for Caliz, C for cupcakes, C for cabbing all the way down from Farrer just to wait in a 30 min line for halal bacon cupcakes. And ondeh ondeh ones. 😍 #80daysofinternship #55daysleft

Be strong.
Do your thing.
Good things will follow.

Let's be quite and true for a moment.

It's 4.21 on a Sunday afternoon and I feel like my life is slowly being torn apart and fed to pigeons. It's not even internship now. Its just life in general.

That is all.

So, twenty three.

Here are thoughts:

1. If I'm doing something for someone, it best be sincere, Because if I expect something in return, I'd be disappointed and that kind of disappointment breaks. I feel like I give and give and give and people don't seem to appreciate that. But if I stop giving because people stop appreciating that, am I really a giver? Have I really be doing all that for the right reasons? I give because I love/respect/adore them and I want them happy so even if they don't give anything back to me, I should just be content in the knowledge that I stayed true to self. That sounds about right. I only wish it was easy to not feel disappointed.

2. Damn, twenty three. In two years, I'll be mid-twenties. Not early twenties.
M I D - T W E N T I E S. What kind of insanity is this?!

3. Ebb and flow of life. Sometimes you're up and sometimes your down. Sometimes you have all the things in the world to say and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you're happy and sometimes... sometimes you just gotta deal.

4. I am only given as much as I can handle.

5. I will get through this

6. What's three months compared to the rest of my life? It's just a grain of sand on the beach that is my life. #icandothis

7. Happy twenty third, self. 

November 08, 2014 at 11:31PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1GBmehb Balloons, especially unicorns named Lucy, are the keys to happiness in life. Hello twenty three!

November 08, 2014 at 03:09PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1pzjXxN Twenty third. // THANKS FOR THE BALLONS AND EVERYTHING GIRLS 😘😘😘

Twenty Three.

Its the middle of the night and it hits me. IM TWENTY THREE.

Im twenty three and still rely on my parents.
Im twenty three and still dont have a clue about life.
Im twenty three and I'm still floating adrift.  

Im twenty three and I'm still an intern.

Im twenty three and I'm still asking myself why people dont love me. 

Im twenty three and I'm still figuring out who the right and wrong people are. 

Im twenty three and I dont have a solid base to lie upon.
Im twenty three and still these chapters are full of questions. More questions than answers.
Im twenty three and I'm still wondering why people leave me.
Im twenty three and I'm still learning how to be better, to do better.

Im twenty three and im still fighting.

Holy shit. Im 23

Oh man, life's getting hard. Sometimes life's like chapter after chapters of goodbye.

November 01, 2014 at 10:06PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/10b0QxZ Be forgiving. Everyone's just trying to do the best they can with what they have. xx

November 01, 2014 at 12:18PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1trpBAf Something about Friday's. xx

October 30, 2014 at 01:37PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1tECg4e #80daysofinternship #64daysleft #calizandsusu4eva

October 29, 2014 at 04:53PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1zI36Nt So crumble. Collapse This is not your destruction. This is your birth. #80daysofinternship #65daysleft #gostronger

October 28, 2014 at 01:36PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1Do4SzR So near but so far! Thanks for lunch Nats! Highlight of my dayyyy 😘😘😘 #80daysofinternship #66daysleft

Do you ever feel sad or lonely, or like the world's leaving you alone tonight?

Cause im sad and lonely and scared. It feels like im never gonna figure anything out. Im never gonna get it right and ill always be stuck somewhere wrong.

I hate nights like these.

October 27, 2014 at 01:06PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1rIV3XC Everything I am is because of you. Everything you've sacrificed has led me here. And thank you for laughing your head off when I told you the things I do during internship. Thanks uh ma. 😂😂 #80daysofinternship #67daysleft #mummytakemeawayfromhere

October 26, 2014 at 03:33PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1zaho8s It's in the little things. Like calling and making time for me when I need you. You are endlessly appreciated and loved! 😘😍😘😍

October 24, 2014 at 02:07PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1sWkVlN Remember when the hardest part the day was getting to school on time? #80daysofinternship #71moredays

Things I need to say to you.

Just because you admit you were wrong and said sorry doesnt erase what you did. IT DOESNT MAKE YOU ANYMORE FORGIVABLE. And dont play the victim here when we know who's the one that fucked up.

I hate this. I keep thinking, if you had even an ounce of love and respect for me, you wouldn't have treated me this way. It was obvious now you didnt. You're so good at saying sorry. How bout next time you dont say you're sorry and just dont do shit like that anymore? Sounds good?

I dont know if my sanity and mental health will be able to endure the cold cold hell that is internship.

Hey Nicky,

In my dreams you were gone. And the grief, it was new. I miss you Nicky. I cant see your face on my phone and convince myself that you're gone. But you are.

Love you

October 22, 2014 at 10:11AM

via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ucALW2nzTb/ Missing so much in life right now. DONT GROW UP KIDS. IT'S A TRAP. #80daysofinternship #73daysleft

October 17, 2014 at 11:27PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/11DAPsj TGFGFLNOEIHGI: Thank God For Good Friends Like Nat Or Else I'd Have Gone Insane. For all the interns, FIFTEEN MORE WEEKS. WE CAN DO THIS. STAY STRONG 💪 😘👷👍✊💞

October 16, 2014 at 12:56PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1stga2I Gray skies and silhouettes. 👻 #80daysofinternship #76

October 15, 2014 at 07:24PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1sHvhqT 😭😭😭😭 #80daysofinternship #77

October 14, 2014 at 06:55PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1vqpEiQ Oh, hello there. #80daysofinternship #78

October 13, 2014 at 08:23PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1sAkxvy One down, 79 more to go. #80daysofinternship #worknowlepaklater

Tiny baby steps for the future.
Why does it feel like the start of the rest of my life? It's too early to be this dramatic.

October 11, 2014 at 04:41PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1qCGaVn Back in Ipoh without you. Ohh how I miss you.

October 07, 2014 at 01:34PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1s7ps5R The good things always last. Like your smile, your laugh...The way you'd sit on my brother's head when he annoyed you, the way you'd spray the whole bottle cologne when you were heading out. The way you'd try to scare me everytime I came home late. God Nicky, you were the older older brother me and abg never had. And we loved you and respected you and we still need you. But I know you're in a better place now and we'll see you again someday. We'll keep you with us, you'll always be on our minds and in our hearts. Till next time Nicks. I love you. Al Fatihah.

I miss you Nicks.

October 05, 2014 at 11:14AM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1vzCsjp Starting off this Raya with a little baking for the ones who deserve it most!

October 03, 2014 at 08:53PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1r86HKb Be honest and upfront with the people you love. Relationships don't work any other way. xx

October 02, 2014 at 10:53AM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1vz9PVL Oh man, take me back to September. ✈

There are people that will love you, and then there'll be people that don't. It's as simple and complicated as that.      
(29 Sept 2014)

I think you're supposed to count the blessing that you have as opposed to blessing that other people have. This envy thing, it's not gonna work C. You'll never be happy, you'll never be content if you measure yourself by someone else's ruler. Be grateful and thankful for all the blessing that you already have because, god knows, you have plenty.
(30 Sept 2014)

September 29, 2014 at 05:10PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/YFeOqY AHHHHHHH. Happy Birthday Yats! From someone who didnt even layan me in the start to now, someone who slept with me (HAHAHAHHAH) I love you endlessly and whatever I typed in last night message is true ok? 200 cucu each! See you soon yats 😍😍😘😘🎆🎇😄😁👏💖💗💗💕💋💎🎇🌞🎊🎊🙊🔅😸🏃👻❤💙🌟☀🎂🎶🎵🙈✨🌟💥💫🔥💋💋💎🎇🎉🎊🎆🎁💝🍫🍪🍰🍬🍭🍮🍩

It's harder to outrun your thoughts when it's midnight and everything is still and silent and the silence roars rather than soothes.

Do you ever lose your breath just for a bit because someone looks so damn good? xx

I'm talking to myself, having conversations of everything that I'm supposed to tell you. And in real life I barely tell you anything. I cant. I need a certain level of trust with a person before I can spill my guts and you. You broke my trust.

But I think by this point, we both know that what it was that we felt is gone.

I'll admit that I really like you, but at this point, you're not worth it.

September 23, 2014 at 06:46PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1DvOb8y Cinta Immigration. 😂😂😂

September 18, 2014 at 10:52PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1mg2Xek 100. FINALLY!! Someone asked me to find a guy that loves me unconditionally. My flaws and all. And somehow, I realised that I've never needed to because I've found friends and family who do that for me. I'm hard to love but they do it anyway. And that makes me happy. Here's to more years of love and inside jokes. To years of talking rubbish and standing beside each other. Here's to my loves, my happy pills, my family that feels like home. #100DAYSOFHAPPY #CALIZHAPPYDAYS #FINALLY

September 17, 2014 at 08:48PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1qXW1Cy 99. This world's a warzone but I've got a shield. I wont surrender cause your love feels like an army of angels. #100daysofhappy #calizhappydays 💎💎💎💎

September 16, 2014 at 06:22PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1u0U9aR 98. Don't lose diamonds while chasing glitter. #100daysofhappy #calizhappydays

September 15, 2014 at 11:05AM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/YK6erV PASAL SAYANG PUNYE PASAL K. 1. I overthink everything 2. I'm so fancy. You already know. I'm in the fast lane, from amk to orchard. 3. I like glitter. Like I REALLY like glitter. 4. I judge people harshly based on first impressions - but I make it a point to remain neutral until my judgements are proven right 5. They rarely are 6. I wouldnt change the path I had to take for anything in the world. It's changed me and shaped me and it's led me to some of my favorite people in life. (168 ❤) 7. I EXAGGERATE EVERYTHING 8. I like to jump to conclusions - conclusions that are really dumb. 9. I talk a lot. A LOT. 10. Sometimes I'll start talking about something then no one will understand what I'm talking about - then I realise that it's cause I didnt tell them the topic in my head. 11. NAT, YATS BANGUN DAH KUL 12 12. You know the pet shops that sell fishes? I hate going near them because I feel like when I open my mouth the fishes are gg to jump in and commit suicide and go down my throat and it'd die and all its fishy shit will go in my... Omg this is disgusting 13. I think that for someone who laughs a lot, I can be quite moody. 14. GOODNIGHTS AFIQS. 15. I have this fear that one day I'm gonna say or do the wrong thing then nobody will be my friend. 16. But thats okay lah. People change and sometimes they outgrow friendships and eventually it all comes down to the fact that life takes everybody on a different journey and if our paths dont collide ever again- it's all good bruh. 17. I'm so awesome and humble, you guysss (Inside joke. Dont jugde me harshly) 18. I try to be chill but I have no chill. 19. I DIDNT CHOOSE THE SELFIE LIFE. The selfie life chose me. #really #honest #ihasfrontcameranow #pleasewhatsappmealltheniceslefiesitookonyourphones #selfielifesohard 20. When I miss people I get mad. At myself for getting mad and at them for being idiots. 😘😘

September 15, 2014 at 11:04AM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/X4lBcQ PASAL SAYANG PUNYE PASAL K. 1. I overthink everything 2. I'm so fancy. You already know. I'm in the fast lane, from amk to orchard. 3. I like glitter. Like I REALLY like glitter. 4. I judge people harshly based on first impressions - but I make it a point to remain neutral until my judgements are proven right 5. They rarely are 6. I wouldnt change the path I had to take for anything in the world. It's changed me and shaped me and it's led me to some of my favorite people in life. (168 ❤) 7. I EXAGGERATE EVERYTHING 8. I like to jump to conclusions - conclusions that are really dumb. 9. I talk a lot. A LOT. 10. Sometimes I'll start talking about something then no one will understand what I'm talking about - then I realise that it's cause I didnt tell them the topic in my head. 11. NAT, YATS BANGUN DAH KUL 12 12. You know the pet shops that sell fishes? I hate going near them because I feel like when I open my mouth the fishes are gg to jump in and commit suicide and go down my throat and it'd die and all its fishy shit will go in my... Omg this is disgusting 13. I think that for someone who laughs a lot, I can be quite moody. 14. GOODNIGHTS AFIQS. 15. I have this fear that one day I'm gonna say or do the wrong thing then nobody will be my friend. 16. But thats okay lah. People change and sometimes they outgrow friendships and eventually it all comes down to the fact that life takes everybody on a different journey and if our paths dont collide ever again- it's all good bruh. 17. I'm so awesome and humble, you guysss (Inside joke. Dont jugde me harshly) 18. I try to be chill but I have no chill. 19. I DIDNT CHOOSE THE SELFIE LIFE. The selfie life chose me. #really #honest #ihasfrontcameranow #pleasewhatsappmealltheniceslefiesitookonyourphones #selfielifesohard 20. When I miss people I get mad. At myself for getting mad and at them for being idiots. 😘😘

September 14, 2014 at 01:25PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1BCWNs3 97. You know it's love when you're willing to wake up extra early for your cousin! Congrats on your win sweetheart! #cokeidol #wrongcareer #100daysofhappy #calizhappydays

September 11, 2014 at 04:31PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1sq60kt

September 10, 2014 at 08:41PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1twke15 94. Full circles ⭕ #100daysofhappy #calizhappydays

September 10, 2014 at 12:15AM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1lQiQHK 93. I'm realising that it wont forever be 3 a.m at macs and we wont always be there for each other. But you, my darlings, will always have a home in me. #100daysofhappy #calizhappydays

September 07, 2014 at 08:16PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/Wzg2TN 91. Denim x Daisies #100daysofhappy #calizhappydays #denimtravels

September 06, 2014 at 09:55PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1rNQcHX And then there were three. Goodbyes never came easy for me.

September 06, 2014 at 06:45PM

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1lNlK0n 90. Bliss is a picnic with my loves. I have to treasure times like these before they go 😢 #100daysofhappy #calizhappydays