Doesn't matter the hits or the swells or the punches to the stomach that I get every time I over think, I will overcome this.
I will breathe easy one day
xx
Friday, May 31, 2013
May 31, 2013 at 09:37PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/Z-mFskHzVk/ The things RP allows me to do. If you'd like your DNA extracted by me please contact 97530853. (I'm just kidding, don't call that number, I don't know who it belongs to) #thankyourp
Thursday, May 30, 2013
I was about to say that my life is now solely punched with thoughts of you and that's why I was / am feeling lonely. The I sat up ( I was lying down ) to type that down and you know how when your thoughts become tangible, they suddenly shine with truth?
The truth is that I don't miss you. I mean, it's not only you. I think all my life, people drop by and they make me smile, they make me laugh and most importantly, they steal apart of me. And then just like that, they leave - and yes. They take away apart of me. I don't know how I can be so whole but so empty at the same time.
The truth is that I don't miss you. I mean, it's not only you. I think all my life, people drop by and they make me smile, they make me laugh and most importantly, they steal apart of me. And then just like that, they leave - and yes. They take away apart of me. I don't know how I can be so whole but so empty at the same time.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
May 29, 2013 at 07:20PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/Z5M1oxnzTO/ Always remember, even when others don't.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
May 29, 2013 at 04:24AM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/Z3mOVXHzXa/ Four am and I can't sleep right. I got too much sugar in my system. EW.
Monday, May 27, 2013
May 27, 2013 at 02:36PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZziwXEnzZZ/ Spongebob says keep going on.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
May 27, 2013 at 01:12PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZzZH2MHzRu/ So I told @shazlynh to hipsterfy me and this is what I get. THANKS UH <3
Saturday, May 25, 2013
May 26, 2013 at 12:51PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/Zwx7ROnzdF/ Rain drops and car lights #sundays
May 25, 2013 at 10:10PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZvNERuHzVV/ Saturday coffee fix with my hijabster
Friday, May 24, 2013
Reasons why I hate you even more than before
because I was doing okay and then you came along.
because I had to see you again and remember everything you once brought me
because I still miss walking on that sanded out path, crossing that one divided road, up the brick red stairs, across the florescent lit void deck, onto the warm tared road, over the second crossing and down the long brick and tar car park just being there, just laughing.
because I haven't found anyone who got me like you did.
because no matter how I try, I cannot erase you.
because I can still remember how you threw me away first, during that one food & nutrition lesson.
because I have what you said burned into my head, "You should have seen your face" and then you left
because every memory of secondary school has you in it
because you are an asshole
because you taught me the most important lesson "Why should I burden people with my problems"
because till this day, it feels wrong to trust
because I've never been good enough
because you've always been the better one
because people never forget
because I can't keep up with this on then off again friendship
because you drive me insane
because I defined you as a best friend
because against every single fiber of my being I defined you as a best friend
because we were not what I remembered
because you were a part of what made me, me
because I laugh harder with you than anyone else
because you don't tell me anything
because you've got your own life now
because you never put away your goddamn phone when we head out
because I'm more of a friend to you than you are to me
because I the only reason you text-ed me after that last night was because you didn't feel good - nothing to do with me
because I'm running out of reasons why I shouldn't text you back
because you don't care about me enough
because I am worth a hell a lot more than one two sentence text message
because I find myself still wanting to be your friend
because I miss you.
because I had to see you again and remember everything you once brought me
because I still miss walking on that sanded out path, crossing that one divided road, up the brick red stairs, across the florescent lit void deck, onto the warm tared road, over the second crossing and down the long brick and tar car park just being there, just laughing.
because I haven't found anyone who got me like you did.
because no matter how I try, I cannot erase you.
because I can still remember how you threw me away first, during that one food & nutrition lesson.
because I have what you said burned into my head, "You should have seen your face" and then you left
because every memory of secondary school has you in it
because you are an asshole
because you taught me the most important lesson "Why should I burden people with my problems"
because till this day, it feels wrong to trust
because I've never been good enough
because you've always been the better one
because people never forget
because I can't keep up with this on then off again friendship
because you drive me insane
because I defined you as a best friend
because against every single fiber of my being I defined you as a best friend
because we were not what I remembered
because you were a part of what made me, me
because I laugh harder with you than anyone else
because you don't tell me anything
because you've got your own life now
because you never put away your goddamn phone when we head out
because I'm more of a friend to you than you are to me
because I the only reason you text-ed me after that last night was because you didn't feel good - nothing to do with me
because I'm running out of reasons why I shouldn't text you back
because you don't care about me enough
because I am worth a hell a lot more than one two sentence text message
because I find myself still wanting to be your friend
because I miss you.
May 24, 2013 at 07:36PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZsWrMkHzSM/ Tak tau diam then made nenek merajuk! Hahahahaha
May 24, 2013 at 05:03PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZsFHTqnzSJ/ Ikea bound with Mummy & Cik ya!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
I was going to write about you all over again. I can't think of all the times I've done that - done this.
I looked at you and everything, all at once, everything was gone. I forgot why I got so mad at you. I forgot everything. All the hundreds of words I wanted to tell you. Why you are an ass, why don't ever want to be friends again, why I should have never been friends with you again. I sound like a broken recorder.
We're just gone.
And if this was a game, I'd be the one having the last word. That would mean I won right?
But then, if I won, why does it feel very much like I just lost?
Because you win, you always win.
you damn scum sucking, ignorant, blind idiotic numskull, you.
I looked at you and everything, all at once, everything was gone. I forgot why I got so mad at you. I forgot everything. All the hundreds of words I wanted to tell you. Why you are an ass, why don't ever want to be friends again, why I should have never been friends with you again. I sound like a broken recorder.
We're just gone.
And if this was a game, I'd be the one having the last word. That would mean I won right?
But then, if I won, why does it feel very much like I just lost?
Because you win, you always win.
you damn scum sucking, ignorant, blind idiotic numskull, you.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
May 22, 2013 at 10:19PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZnfsljHzam/ My grandma, my hijabster & my infinity obsession.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Home again.
It's raining outside. The sky's a cotton grey - the type you want to take a piece and bring home to sleep on and the wind, oh the wind loves me so. It wraps it's strands around me, dusting of the grime of today and holding me, holding so sweetly till I can hold myself together again.
Masha'Allah, the day is beautiful. The wind, the trees, the dirt and most of all the rain. Masha'Allah.
I still feel so raw from yesterday, from all the truths I heard and the realities I faced. I am in no way prepared to deal with them yet, it truly took all I am to be myself today and I don't think I succeed. But thank god for the weather. The soft rains and rumbling clouds were like a balm onto the rawness of reality.
I guess sooner or later I'll have to come to terms with having seasonal friends. It sounds hilarious and dumb that it hurts so much but, really, it feels like a burn. Not the type you get by fire but the type you get when brushing against something rough. Like when you fall onto the road and you use your hands to shield yourself but all you end up with are bruises and scraps and burns that lick at your soul and press your sanity.
I can imagine walking away from this all, just heading to another country after my poly education is done. Work there for a while and forget all that's happened here. Just me and nobody else. I get that urge to fly. To flea. To reinvent myself.
It's raining outside. The sky's a cotton grey - the type you want to take a piece and bring home to sleep on and the wind, oh the wind loves me so. It wraps it's strands around me, dusting of the grime of today and holding me, holding so sweetly till I can hold myself together again.
Masha'Allah, the day is beautiful. The wind, the trees, the dirt and most of all the rain. Masha'Allah.
I still feel so raw from yesterday, from all the truths I heard and the realities I faced. I am in no way prepared to deal with them yet, it truly took all I am to be myself today and I don't think I succeed. But thank god for the weather. The soft rains and rumbling clouds were like a balm onto the rawness of reality.
I guess sooner or later I'll have to come to terms with having seasonal friends. It sounds hilarious and dumb that it hurts so much but, really, it feels like a burn. Not the type you get by fire but the type you get when brushing against something rough. Like when you fall onto the road and you use your hands to shield yourself but all you end up with are bruises and scraps and burns that lick at your soul and press your sanity.
I can imagine walking away from this all, just heading to another country after my poly education is done. Work there for a while and forget all that's happened here. Just me and nobody else. I get that urge to fly. To flea. To reinvent myself.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Today I feel horrible.
I can't spell, I can't draw, I can't speak, I can't sing. I can't even have friends.
Today I realized that my friends come and go like the seasons of a highly D class sit-com.
Each season the cast changes and while some may stay the same, they all eventually go away. I wish it was easy as it being me pushing people away - I would just un-push them if that were they case.
But somehow, i doubt it's me pushing - i think its more of me repelling them away.
There's something in my that's dark. That no one want to be apart of and the scariest thing is I can't think of what it is. And even if I did know, would I change it?
Nah, it's probably what got me through these fucking seasons of "friends".
Today was horrible.
I can't spell, I can't draw, I can't speak, I can't sing. I can't even have friends.
Today I realized that my friends come and go like the seasons of a highly D class sit-com.
Each season the cast changes and while some may stay the same, they all eventually go away. I wish it was easy as it being me pushing people away - I would just un-push them if that were they case.
But somehow, i doubt it's me pushing - i think its more of me repelling them away.
There's something in my that's dark. That no one want to be apart of and the scariest thing is I can't think of what it is. And even if I did know, would I change it?
Nah, it's probably what got me through these fucking seasons of "friends".
Today was horrible.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
May 16, 2013 at 08:22AM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZWjH0IHzRJ/ I wish I was a monkey so I wouldn't have to bother with my shoes getting wet because of the rain - because of have no shoes. But eww bugs.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
May 14, 2013 at 04:45PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZSTLtonzXO/ I miss being young and happy and being so sure about the world. Now I'm older and more jaded. Not even sure of past, present or future.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
May 12, 2013 at 11:46PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZN5uTJHzem/ From Geylang for classes to Expo to Tamp then finally to a huge family feast in Bedok! #Sundaywhyyouend
May 12, 2013 at 09:23PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZNpXVaHzQu/ Mother's day dinner with all my family!
Friday, May 10, 2013
May 10, 2013 at 05:21PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZIEI5qHzQ7/ My crazy happy weekend is here face or faces.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
I hate when people let "the loves of their lifes" take precedence over everyone else.
For fucks sake lah, You've probably known the guy for how long and you've known the rest for how long?
It's completely ok huh to let him take all your concern?
Give him all your time and attention. Text him every night. Forget your friends/cousins/aunty/uncle/the nice bubble tea shop lady/your cat/your rest of your life exsist because why the fuck not?
Call me when you need me then when you don't you can just throw me down until you need me again ok?
For fucks sake lah, You've probably known the guy for how long and you've known the rest for how long?
It's completely ok huh to let him take all your concern?
Give him all your time and attention. Text him every night. Forget your friends/cousins/aunty/uncle/the nice bubble tea shop lady/your cat/your rest of your life exsist because why the fuck not?
Call me when you need me then when you don't you can just throw me down until you need me again ok?
Isolated
Dear future people reading this,
If you're under 20, friends will seem like the most important thing in your life. And why not? They light up everything - at least the ones you like do. But there will come a time where you're left stranded. Where everything feels a hollow dream and nothing makes much sense.
I guess, the main point of what I'm trying to say is that there will come a point in time where you'll be virtually alone.
No, do not freak out. Please, dear future one, stiffen that goddamn upper lip and listen. These times are good. They are okay. They will happen and most importantly these are the times you learn the most about being a friend. A good one.
When you hit a rock like this virtual isolation that I feel right now, the first thing you want to do, is buy a kindabeuno (Milky hazelnut cream encased in crispy wafer enveloped by rich good to the last lick chocolate) and wait till it get to that perfect half melted state then eat it.
The next thing you want to do is read. Because when you feel like you have no one, the characters will come alive and become your best friend. Just read.
While doing so, do not lose hope.
Don't think that it'll always be this way because it won't. I am a strong believer that Allah never gives us more than we can handle and He never gives us less that what we need.
The last thing I can think of is that you need to concentrate else where. Write a story, visit a museum, take on a DIY project. DO SOMETHING POSITIVE
If you're under 20, friends will seem like the most important thing in your life. And why not? They light up everything - at least the ones you like do. But there will come a time where you're left stranded. Where everything feels a hollow dream and nothing makes much sense.
I guess, the main point of what I'm trying to say is that there will come a point in time where you'll be virtually alone.
No, do not freak out. Please, dear future one, stiffen that goddamn upper lip and listen. These times are good. They are okay. They will happen and most importantly these are the times you learn the most about being a friend. A good one.
When you hit a rock like this virtual isolation that I feel right now, the first thing you want to do, is buy a kindabeuno (Milky hazelnut cream encased in crispy wafer enveloped by rich good to the last lick chocolate) and wait till it get to that perfect half melted state then eat it.
The next thing you want to do is read. Because when you feel like you have no one, the characters will come alive and become your best friend. Just read.
While doing so, do not lose hope.
Don't think that it'll always be this way because it won't. I am a strong believer that Allah never gives us more than we can handle and He never gives us less that what we need.
The last thing I can think of is that you need to concentrate else where. Write a story, visit a museum, take on a DIY project. DO SOMETHING POSITIVE
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
May 08, 2013 at 11:48PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZDm1pPHzV2/ I never see the forest for the trees // I could really use your melody
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
May 07, 2013 at 04:42PM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/ZAROjRnzZN/ Heading out in this storm, maybe not the smartest thing to do...
Monday, May 6, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
May 06, 2013 at 08:37AM
via Instagram http://instagram.com/p/Y807NCnzTz/ No, thank you kind getting married person who chose to give out chocolate
Thursday, May 2, 2013
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