Home again.
It's raining outside. The sky's a cotton grey - the type you want to take a piece and bring home to sleep on and the wind, oh the wind loves me so. It wraps it's strands around me, dusting of the grime of today and holding me, holding so sweetly till I can hold myself together again.
Masha'Allah, the day is beautiful. The wind, the trees, the dirt and most of all the rain. Masha'Allah.
I still feel so raw from yesterday, from all the truths I heard and the realities I faced. I am in no way prepared to deal with them yet, it truly took all I am to be myself today and I don't think I succeed. But thank god for the weather. The soft rains and rumbling clouds were like a balm onto the rawness of reality.
I guess sooner or later I'll have to come to terms with having seasonal friends. It sounds hilarious and dumb that it hurts so much but, really, it feels like a burn. Not the type you get by fire but the type you get when brushing against something rough. Like when you fall onto the road and you use your hands to shield yourself but all you end up with are bruises and scraps and burns that lick at your soul and press your sanity.
I can imagine walking away from this all, just heading to another country after my poly education is done. Work there for a while and forget all that's happened here. Just me and nobody else. I get that urge to fly. To flea. To reinvent myself.
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